Amy to Hanny July 25 (PG rated?)

12:07am
It is late and I need to go to sleep, but I just wanted to start another letter to you. You called earlier today and we got to talk for 10 whole minutes, but I was crying and just want to make sure I don't end our conversation today on a sad note. It was so good to hear from you. You sounded so good! I'm so glad you've made it through the tough few weeks at the beginning. I'm so glad to hear that you're looking forward to target practice, the obstacle course, and your p.t. test this next week. It's good that you're focused. Please don't let my emotions depress or distract you. Give it your all and keep going. Make sure you feed your spirit too, even if it's just shoving some into yourself like you do your food at the dining facility. I love you more than any words can say. I'm so excited to meet the new man you're becoming hope you'll like who I'm turning into as well. I know we're following the Lord's plan for each of us, so I trust this process, even as hard as it is.
I'm surprised at how hard it's been for me to lose you this way. I feel like I've taken you for granted sometimes and it's kind of ironic how some of the things I've always thought were your needs are the things I'm missing now. It has honestly felt and during the week between phone calls or letters it still feels like you've died and gone to the other side of the veil where you can still love me and influence me occasionally, but not live with me. I sniffed your dirty socks and work clothes the other day when I finally washed them just longing for your smell. You're like a ghost that haunts this house and I "see" you in our bedroom at night or standing at the sink. All of the funny things the kids say, I turn to see if you heard it too. I look for you sitting on the potty in our bathroom behind the door....or walking in from outside with a tool in your hand. I keep looking for you everywhere subconsciously and everytime you're not there, it hurts my heart again.
I knew I would miss you a lot, but I underestimated how big of a hole in my heart you would leave when you went away. I talk to Christene, Mom, neighbors, and clients, but it's just not you. I can't stop checking other men out, hearing a voice that reminds me of yours, seeing a chest muscly like yours or a set of strong arms covered in soft skin. I'm not cheating on you, it's just that I see pieces of you everywhere and am attracted by a powerful force. Did you ever realize how crazy I am about you? I'm not sure I knew how much.
Oh, I've got to go to sleep so I can tell you we made it to church early tomorrow! Gros bisous and imaginary spooning as I go to bed....this bed is too big for me all alone.